on oleh-oleh

It's just one of those things. Things that have been going on for so long, they have become common social courtesy.

Asking travelling friends/family to bring oleh-oleh or souvenirs.

Don't get me wrong, I might have been guilty of this cringe-worthy behavior too in the past to some extent. Like I said, it's common, it's normal (really?). However, after racking my brain for a clearer look on the matter, yes, it's cool when someone who has been travelling to cool places comes back and brings us stuff, but maybe, we should not ask for it?

Me? I love bringing loved ones or just people around me stuff. That's my sickness actually. I don't do the merlion key chains or refrigerator magnets (well, not anymore, at least), because it's so much more exciting to get someone something that has a personal meaning for them. Yes, I drive myself crazy with this habit, but can't kill this one just yet.

When someone asks me to bring them stuff, -- sometimes specific stuff (this brand, this colour, this flavour) -- I will take some factors into consideration: Do I have the money to get it? Am I close enough with -- or do I care enough about -- this person to go out of my way and get them stuff? If it's "yes" on both, I will definitely try my best to get it.

People I care about have been nice enough to not hassle me with the "Oleh-olehnya mana?" (Where's my souvenir?) question -- which by the way, is a normal, acceptable question here. My VIPs are more If you can get it, great, if not, that's totally okay. But then once in a while, I got that question from people I'm not even close with. To ask that question once is okay -- acceptable, but more often than not, they questioned it quite persistently to the point of it was slightly awkward.

This is an actual conversation, some parts are translated to English

Jane Doe: Oh that's right, you just got back from Japan. How was it? Oleh-olehnya mana?
Me: It was so fun! I really needed that vacation! I didn't feel like going home just yet!
Jane Doe: (nodding and smiling) So, mana oleh-olehnya?
Me: ...
Jane Doe: Nothing? (a weird mix of anticipation and baffled expression on her face)

To which, I answered: "I think my coming home safely is enough souvenir for everyone."

Excuse me, first of all, it's not like I crap money. Second of all, were you there when I gathered the latest cents from under the sofa to get the plane tickets? Did you help when I applied for the passport, the visa waiver, or when I had some misunderstanding with the Airbnb? Did you come up with any tip or advice on what kind of Internet/cellular package or transportation pass card that I should use during my trip? Because I have friends who helped me with all of those, and they didn't ask for a single thing.

It's one thing to ask "Oleh-olehnya mana?", but don't hold your breath for it, don't make it awkward.

Au revoir, Awkward!

on what meets the eye

At 32 I have a lot of grey hair (my natural colour is black). It's been around for quite a while, and it used to bug me a lot. I used to dye my hair back to black regularly. These days I don't anymore, though; probably because I'm currently enjoying it.

Yes, people asked about it a lot. "Don't you want to get your hair dyed?" is the most popular question. When I did answer with "Probably in a few days, I miss my black hair", sometimes they would subtly retaliate with, "Why black though? Isn't it kinda shabby? Why not highlight it?". Sigh. You can't please everyone.

Since I'm loving my hair now, that kind of questions doesn't really bother me anymore. After all, I do understand that the grey hair's branding team isn't as popular as, say, the blonde one. It must take a while for most people to get there.

One day, at a hospitality event filled with fellow media professionals, a lady I know made a big fuss about how she liked my hair and how she wished she had the salt-and-pepper streaks like mine. Thing is, she does have grey streaks, and when I mentioned it to her, she continued to say things like "But it doesn't look as cool as yours" while touching my hair. Needless to say I was uncomfortable. But no big deal.

Two night ago, however, my best friend who attended the same event, told me that just before I stopped by to talk to this lady, when I was still out of earshot, the lady was talking about my hair to a second lady I also know, saying, "Ih, Runi kok rambutnya gitu sih?" -- of course, with a condescending tone. The second lady agreed with her.

I stand by my words. I don't mind people asking about and disagreeing with the way I look, but just be upfront about it. I didn't ask to be awkwardly complimented in public only to find out that the culprit felt the opposite and actually pointed that out in front of people but me.

Yes, I work in the industry where words can be as genuine as the eyebrows on most people's faces these days. So I should've seen it coming. It just still amuses me how some people would go out of their way to be spiteful.

Grey hair don't care, out.